forever? forever ever forever ever?

you know, i really would have liked it if tomorrow would have been our opportunity to clinch. but for now, i'll just be happy that tanyon sturtze's mid-game suckitude didn't do any real damage. god damn those stupid blue jays, however. they had a three run lead! they had the chance to make my dreams, for today, come true. and they fucked it all up.

but that's ok. times square hooker wang is in tomorrow night against the evilness and i am gonna eat sushi and watch the events unfold.

speaking of dreams, yesterday morning i had the most excellent dream about chocolate covered pretzels, which i have been craving ever since, and i was in 7-11 today, and as i passed the shiny, mylar packaged goods i thought to myself, 'self, isn't there something you wanted?' and myself, being half-asleep, decided that was coffee, and didn't even THINK about chocolate covered pretzels. but i'm telling you this right now. there is a whole freakin' bag of chocolate covered pretzels in my future, and i'm really, really happy about it.

again, all i have to say is, go yanks. goodnight.

curt schilling chokes on bloody sock. film at 11.

i know, i know...it's all yankee posts all the time lately, but this is just the way it's going to be until all this is over. if you don't give a crap about the yankees and/or you are loathe to read about them in every post, i'd check back in late october. or i'd kill myself. no, just kidding. people that don't care about/hate the yankees should be allowed to live too.

so. one game up. one game with the o's left. then it's boston. if the whole thing is tied up at the end, it will go to a one-game playoff between the sox and us, to be played IN THE BRONX. yeah. so... i know some people who are hoping for this scenario. i know certain other people(this girl, right here) who stands to potentially have a nervous breakdown over the course of nine innings. but i'll still love it. it's just the way it is. in fact, nervous breakdown or not, i almost want that scenario as well. the excitement is just too much of a draw.

either way, the next few days are gonna be nuts. by this time next week, well...

i must say, that shawn chacon is pretty bad-ass. i have a feeling that he's not done making me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. same for ol' bubba. and the times square hooker, wang. that couldn't be more perfect, now could it?

also, while we're talking about winning and all the glory that accompanies it... i must shout out one mr. charles williams iii, who last evening took down reigning scrabble tyrant ms. kelli "triple word score" crean to become king scrabble, at least for the time being. sorry kels...i know how you hate to lose.

that's all for now. go yanks.

yankee madness.

this is getting crazy, people. as we come down to the wire in the AL east, every night counts. i'm on the edge of sanity here. half game up, tied, half game back, tied...WE MUST CLINCH THE AL EAST at this point. i don't want no stinkin' wildcard. I WANT IT ALL. spoken like a true yankee fan.

in other sports related news, i won the monday night football pool AGAIN last night. because i am the champion, my friend. me.

between baseball, trying to battle my evil landlords(or should i say, slumlords) and dealing with the addition of text messaging to my life(29 years. i made it 29 years before i succumbed to the text message madness. but all that is over now) i have a full plate.

oh, and i have to say, conan o'brien has skyrocketed to the top of my favorite people on the planet list with my discovery of his 'walker, texas ranger' thing. that is pure genius. everyone, i mean everyone, should have a lever to pull that plays random 'walker, texas ranger' clips.

seventy-two unforced errors.

ted lilly had a pretty bad night last night, but i'm just fine with that because his horrific outing meant that my boys moved to a game and a half up on those filthy bostonians. "he's taken off his shoe...i think he's crying." good times. unfortunately, the o's were unable to pull it out against the sox, despite an early lead. miguel tejada overthrew first, probably because he was busy thinking about ways to execute rafael palmeiro. i mean, if i were tejada, that's what i'd be thinking about right now. throwing to first base would be pretty incidental.

this is simply my favorite time of year, and it doesn't matter what else is going on, whether the world is going down the tubes or my personal bullshit factor is off the charts, i still get this crazy amped-up love in my heart where baseball is concerned. i can even smell the october-yankee stadium smell. it's wonderful.

don't wanna get ahead of myself, however.

so again, moving on.

every few months i re-discover radiohead's brilliant hail to the thief, and i am consistently floored by how absolutely amazing it is. it's nice to go away from an album for a while and have it blow you away all over again when you come back to it. priceless, as those advertising bastards at mastercard would say, while they mercilessly manipulate your emotions.

back in it.

good lord...it's been more than fifteen days since i last appeared in this space. my internet access having been shut off by the man, and the people i had been henceforth stealing my wireless from having caught on and blocked my access, it has been somewhat of an internet draught around these parts lately. the good news is that i have been once again writing in my good old fashioned notebook journal(i don't even want to tell you when the last time i wrote in that thing was...it makes me feel terrible). but this one needs an update. like right now. while the wireless-hoarding neighbors aren't looking.

so let's see... first of all, let me note for the record that a particular AL team is a half game up in the AL east as of tonight, and let me save you some time...IT AIN'T THE BOSTON RED SOX. holla back. not that i'm saying anything about that right now. just pointing it out. and holla-ing about it. briefly. moving on.

um...i am experiencing new levels of poor-itutde, as if you couldn't figure that out from my need to pilfer wireless internet. i also spent a week without a phone, which was conversely refreshing and annoying, as well as depressing(when i realized how heavily i rely upon it. there was a time, way back when, when i survived and lived a rather full social life in the absence of cellular service. what has happened to me???). we still don't have hot water(it's been like three months. it's sorta starting to seem like a prison camp, especially when you figure in the barren landscape of our refridgerator. but i still have hope that one day i will again know what it is to take a hot shower in my own bathroom. oh, how i live for that day.)

i also had a stint serving jury duty last monday...i was actually planning to do a whole series, entitled "blogging my civic duty: an exercise in sheer alarm" but i wasn't called this week. maybe monday, though. we can hope. anyhow, to blog my one exercise in sheer alarm through my participation in the legal process, let me just say, again, as i have said it to just about everyone i know at this point: i hope i don't ever get arrested for murder, or for anything that's going to come before a jury of my "peers", because so far as i can tell, these people can only be considered the peers of those with absolutely no clue about anything that doesn't directly relate to whatever misguided system of rational existence they have chosen to subscribe to. wait, i just realized that they therefore are the peers of about 99.9999 percent of this country. so i guess it's a decent cross-section.

anyhow, to stop being long-winded, here's the deal: you don't want people who's only knowledge of the legal parameters and responsibilities of our American justice system comes straight off of law and order, or csi, or any television program whatsoever. and that's what is happening, my friends, in jury rooms all across this land. everything goes straight out the window. all those hours spent in amercian government, history, civics, whatever...nope. nothing. law and order? that's what's informing our conception of our OWN FUCKING GOVERNMENTAL STRUCTURE AND PROCEDURES. scary.

also scary was spending an hour arguing with one woman who refused to accept the legal definition of "malice" WHILE SERVING ON A JURY!!!!!!!!! sorry, there isn't room for a semantic argument about something they give you the definition of on a piece of paper with it all spelled out in it's legal manifestation. according to this lady, if i scratch you, it's malice. why? because it hurts! and hurting is bad! so there you go. send him to the chair. done, and done.

it was an interesting day. and yes, unlike law and order, or a time to kill(which, incidentally, another juror referenced in one of his ridiculously irrelevant statements regarding the case we were slated to decide), we did hear and decide a murder trial in just one day. so it goes.

anyhoo, if i do wind up back in there next monday, i will be sure to give a full report on what transpires.

i'm out for now, but i have fifteen days to catch up on, so i will be back shortly.

Needed to be said.

Mike Myers: [dutifully reads canned plea for charity on teleprompter]

Kanye: [abandons teleprompter] "I hate the way they portray us in the media. You see a black family and they say we are looting, you see a white family and they say they are looking for food. And, you know, its been five days because most of the people ARE black. And even for me to complain, I would be a hypocrite because I would turn away from the TV because it's too hard to watch. I've even been shopping before even giving a donation, so now I'm calling my business manager right to see what is the biggest amount I can give. And just to imagine, if I was down there and those are my people down there. If there is anybody out there that wants to do anything that we can help about the way America is set up the help the poor, the black people, the less well off as slow as possible. Red cross is doing as much as they can. We already realize a lot of the people that could help are at war right now, fighting another way. And now they've given them permission to go down and shoot us.

Mike Myers: [stands frozen in horror, decides to pretend nothing happened and stick with the teleprompter]

Kanye: GEORGE BUSH DOES NOT CARE ABOUT BLACK PEOPLE.

Mike Myers: [descends into complete panic]

From John Darnielle on LPTJ:

If you saw it, you know it was the best television moment since Prince kicked over the microphone stand at the 1985 American Music Awards. Almost immediately, the kind of people who can't tolerate actual people expressing actual dissent in real-time began to put spin on Kanye West's impassioned, emotional, and most importantly accurate outburst on NBC earlier this evening: they hauled out their abusive epithets as they always do. They're especially fond of the word "disgusting"; I'd wager they've done some focus-group research on it. These are the same people who're all for shrinking government until it comes to your bedroom, at which point they're all about legislation. Whatever. If you saw it, and you feel like I feel, please post this banner on your site, or your LJ, or wherever you got space. Control-click the image and upload it to your favorite server, and then go nuts. Let's show love to a guy with the guts to go off-script and say it out loud.