DT coined a word and made it into the NY Times! Holla.
Nerdeaucracy
By the way, NYT or no, spell check still don't like it... get with the program!
Thursday, April 09, 2009
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
I watch too much TV, volume two hundred and seventy four
the a-rod and kobe one was weird, the heidi klum one was totally un-hot after they buttoned her shirt up, but now the guitar hero people have finally made one of those "risky business" commercials i can get behind.
first of all, coach k's and roy williams' expressions are priceless. pitino's drumming style is hilarious. but what really kicks the whole thing over the edge is the way bobby knight says "we're playing the guitar hero!" like the most stereotypical old dude ever, and then goes ballistic when whatshisname from metallica calls him pops.
thank you, guitar hero. you have reached the pinnacle of this particular advertising campaign.
first of all, coach k's and roy williams' expressions are priceless. pitino's drumming style is hilarious. but what really kicks the whole thing over the edge is the way bobby knight says "we're playing the guitar hero!" like the most stereotypical old dude ever, and then goes ballistic when whatshisname from metallica calls him pops.
thank you, guitar hero. you have reached the pinnacle of this particular advertising campaign.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
33 minutes till fantasy draft time!!!
I have spent the whole day doing all the prep work that I should have been doing for the past few weeks, and also making peanut butter rice krispie treats, for draft fuel. My trusty laptop is charged up, my spread sheets are ready to go, and now all I can do is watch UConn v. Mizzou and wait... Bring it, people! Team Boli is 'roid ragin' and ready to go.
Now I would like to speak briefly about one of the many commercials I have seen a million times during March Madness, because as with any televised sporting event, the sponsors beat you over the head with their product until you are unable to do anything but wander dazedly into their establishment and patronize it out of sheer disorientation.
The commercial I would like to highlight is for Subway's "Five Dollar Foot Long" promotion. No, it is not the one where all those creepy wanna-be actor types surround that dude at the Subway counter while singing the Five Dollar Foot Long song (and surprisingly, he doesn't snap and start karate-kicking them, because that's what the fuck I would do if I found myself surrounded by cheesy, destined-to-fail actors).
The one that I am talking about features a dumpy, shabbily attired used-car-salesman(why do used car salesmen get such a shitty rap? I have bought a used car before, and the dudes who sold it to me were very nice people) who is excitedly setting up his used car lot for a big sale. He has climbed an old, rickety ladder, and is just about to hang his worn-out looking, not-so-sparkly banner or whatever, when all of a sudden, his attention is drawn to some confetti-like substance spewing from behind him.
It turns out that Subway, apparently located across the street, is having a much bigger celebration for their stupid "Five Dollar Foot Longs" (which don't exist, by the way, but that is another story, and blog post) which immediately overshadows the used car salesman's meager celebration, a situation which is reflected in his facial expression of disappointment and inadequacy, upon realizing what has happened.
Now, first of all, if you have been following me thus far, you know that I just admitted that this Subway commercial has caused me to experience real emotion, on behalf of the poor, overshadowed, failure of a used-car salesman. When I finally realized that this was how I felt, I mentioned to CW that I thought it was fucked up that Subway had to go and make this guy feel bad about his meager celebration. CW looked at me in a way which made me painfully aware that I had just said something that most people would find to be the ramblings of a looney tune. His "Okay" was tinged with a slight warning, as if to say, "Please tell me that you are joking, in some way, and are not feeling real emotion on behalf of a character in a Subway commercial." However, probably because he is marrying me, CW was willing to humor my observation for that brief moment and let me not answer the part where I would have had to admit that I did really feel bad for the used-car dude. I left it at that.
But then yesterday, I got to work a few minutes early, and was pretty hungry. I suddenly found myself wandering in the aforementioned commercially influenced haze, into the Subway restaurant located next door to my job. Boy did I feel like a sellout. Not only was I now eating a crappy turkey sub off some stale roll that had obviously not been baked in the hour or preceding my visit, as Subway likes to claim. But I was also forsaking my compassion for the plight of the used-car salesman, who had fallen prey to Subway's corporate advertising budget and had picked the wrong day to try and have his big sale. Damn corporations.
OK! Gotta go, fantasy draft time.
Now I would like to speak briefly about one of the many commercials I have seen a million times during March Madness, because as with any televised sporting event, the sponsors beat you over the head with their product until you are unable to do anything but wander dazedly into their establishment and patronize it out of sheer disorientation.
The commercial I would like to highlight is for Subway's "Five Dollar Foot Long" promotion. No, it is not the one where all those creepy wanna-be actor types surround that dude at the Subway counter while singing the Five Dollar Foot Long song (and surprisingly, he doesn't snap and start karate-kicking them, because that's what the fuck I would do if I found myself surrounded by cheesy, destined-to-fail actors).
The one that I am talking about features a dumpy, shabbily attired used-car-salesman(why do used car salesmen get such a shitty rap? I have bought a used car before, and the dudes who sold it to me were very nice people) who is excitedly setting up his used car lot for a big sale. He has climbed an old, rickety ladder, and is just about to hang his worn-out looking, not-so-sparkly banner or whatever, when all of a sudden, his attention is drawn to some confetti-like substance spewing from behind him.
It turns out that Subway, apparently located across the street, is having a much bigger celebration for their stupid "Five Dollar Foot Longs" (which don't exist, by the way, but that is another story, and blog post) which immediately overshadows the used car salesman's meager celebration, a situation which is reflected in his facial expression of disappointment and inadequacy, upon realizing what has happened.
Now, first of all, if you have been following me thus far, you know that I just admitted that this Subway commercial has caused me to experience real emotion, on behalf of the poor, overshadowed, failure of a used-car salesman. When I finally realized that this was how I felt, I mentioned to CW that I thought it was fucked up that Subway had to go and make this guy feel bad about his meager celebration. CW looked at me in a way which made me painfully aware that I had just said something that most people would find to be the ramblings of a looney tune. His "Okay" was tinged with a slight warning, as if to say, "Please tell me that you are joking, in some way, and are not feeling real emotion on behalf of a character in a Subway commercial." However, probably because he is marrying me, CW was willing to humor my observation for that brief moment and let me not answer the part where I would have had to admit that I did really feel bad for the used-car dude. I left it at that.
But then yesterday, I got to work a few minutes early, and was pretty hungry. I suddenly found myself wandering in the aforementioned commercially influenced haze, into the Subway restaurant located next door to my job. Boy did I feel like a sellout. Not only was I now eating a crappy turkey sub off some stale roll that had obviously not been baked in the hour or preceding my visit, as Subway likes to claim. But I was also forsaking my compassion for the plight of the used-car salesman, who had fallen prey to Subway's corporate advertising budget and had picked the wrong day to try and have his big sale. Damn corporations.
OK! Gotta go, fantasy draft time.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
march madness saves the day
i have been experiencing my own non-basketball related march madness for the past 11 days or so, which hasn't exactly been fun. but screw that, because the real march madness has begun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i couldn't be happier. every sports fan knows that february is a pretty dead sports month, although the knicks have been keeping it real this year, and there has been all this T.O. stuff (sorry, baby) to sustain our interest. but the payoff for the bleakness(all around) of feb. is the start of NCAA b-ball tournament season, and it is finally here! this means, i made it :)
in fact, i am sitting on my couch right now, creating a rubric for the paper my students are handing in tomorrow, and WATCHING THE BIG EAST TOURNAMENT ON TV!!! from now on, all sentences that concern what i am doing(which would be twittering, i suppose, now that our society has fallen in love with twitter) will hopefully end with "and WATCHING THE TOURNAMENT ON TV!!" not just the big east of course, but all of them. i am an insatiable college basketball junkie, starting now, and i will take whatever you got. north dakota? great. west washington montana university? word up.
my hopefully future alma mater, St. John's, beat G-town last night!!! i don't know if anyone has picked up on this yet, but i am beyond desperate to affiliate myself with a remotely viable college athletic program. if i am accepted to st. john's, look out. i am about to become the most rabid red storm fanatic you have ever seen. GO RED STORM! don't call it a comeback, y'all. i am not gonna lie: i am terribly pleased that the school i really want to go to has half a chance in hell of building their b-ball program back up to its mark jackson-or-chris-mullen-era glory. i mean, if i wind up at nyu, it's back to the land of the seawolves, beavers and terriers. i mean, what the hell is nyu's mascot, anyway? the golden purple torches? no thank you.
so please, st. john's. let me enroll in your university. i have already started picking out jerseys and comparing ticket packages. we could do great things together...
oh, and march madness rules!!!!
*************Update***************
I would just like to note that no sooner do I get hype for a particular team, but they promptly lose. Happens every March(I'm talking to you, Syracuse). But I guess it's time for me to take responsibility. I am obvs a jinx, although I don't think this affects St. John's ability to become a winning team again, once I am a student. Oh, and St. John's lost to Marquette this afternoon, or should I say, got their ass handed to them in a sound thrashing, the score was 74-45. Ouch. St. John's had 10 points at the end of the half. I am serious. Sorry, guys. I promise to keep my hopes for you quiet next year.
in fact, i am sitting on my couch right now, creating a rubric for the paper my students are handing in tomorrow, and WATCHING THE BIG EAST TOURNAMENT ON TV!!! from now on, all sentences that concern what i am doing(which would be twittering, i suppose, now that our society has fallen in love with twitter) will hopefully end with "and WATCHING THE TOURNAMENT ON TV!!" not just the big east of course, but all of them. i am an insatiable college basketball junkie, starting now, and i will take whatever you got. north dakota? great. west washington montana university? word up.
my hopefully future alma mater, St. John's, beat G-town last night!!! i don't know if anyone has picked up on this yet, but i am beyond desperate to affiliate myself with a remotely viable college athletic program. if i am accepted to st. john's, look out. i am about to become the most rabid red storm fanatic you have ever seen. GO RED STORM! don't call it a comeback, y'all. i am not gonna lie: i am terribly pleased that the school i really want to go to has half a chance in hell of building their b-ball program back up to its mark jackson-or-chris-mullen-era glory. i mean, if i wind up at nyu, it's back to the land of the seawolves, beavers and terriers. i mean, what the hell is nyu's mascot, anyway? the golden purple torches? no thank you.
so please, st. john's. let me enroll in your university. i have already started picking out jerseys and comparing ticket packages. we could do great things together...
oh, and march madness rules!!!!
*************Update***************
I would just like to note that no sooner do I get hype for a particular team, but they promptly lose. Happens every March(I'm talking to you, Syracuse). But I guess it's time for me to take responsibility. I am obvs a jinx, although I don't think this affects St. John's ability to become a winning team again, once I am a student. Oh, and St. John's lost to Marquette this afternoon, or should I say, got their ass handed to them in a sound thrashing, the score was 74-45. Ouch. St. John's had 10 points at the end of the half. I am serious. Sorry, guys. I promise to keep my hopes for you quiet next year.
Thursday, March 05, 2009
if you piss off jon stewart, you better back the fuck up
And this shit with Colbert had me laughing so hard I was having trouble not puking. I know, gross. But koala pox? Gargamel? It's totally awesome.
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
what in the hell?
now, r. kelly's "trapped in the closet" is not necessarily news, since it's been out for quite some time. everyone heard, or at least heard about, the 17 minutes of it that made the radio edit, and of course i assume we are all familiar with the general craziness that is r. kels (peeing on teenagers, etc)
last night, i came home to find that IFC was playing all 22 episodes of the "trapped in the closet" opus back to back(which takes about two hours, mind you). i had never watched the whole thing, and i must say, even with my existing knowledge of r. kelly's leanings toward bizarre shit, i was taken aback at the sheer lunacy of it all.
let's get a few things established. with "trapped in the closet," r. kelly has composed something along the lines of an opera(in that everything is sung. everything.) which appears to warn against the dangers of homosexuality(and being, of course, on the down-low- trapped in the closet, if you will). In doing so, it goes way beyond homophobia, arriving at the brink of hysteria, in that just about the entire cast winds up contracting "the package" (um, A.I.D.S) except for the old chick myrna, and her huband randolph(or something). even the midget male stripper gets it, from omar from the wire's wife, no less. and all because "the pastor" was bonin' chuck, the homosexual character who, of course, winds up giving them all A.I.D.S. duh. that's what homosexuals do!
Now, mind you, there is no real attention drawn to the fact that these characters all sleep with each other on the reg, thus spreading around "the package" which chuck has unwittingly given to "the pastor" or that they seem to be extremely shitty people in general. the entirety of the storyline is in place, it seems, to advance the "moral of the story" which is that a dude shouldn't engage in bonin' another dude on the "down low", or at all, since this practice will only ensure that he and everyone in his entire congregation will contract the A.I.D.S virus.
wow.
did i mention there is a midget male stripper? or what about "pimp luceious"? tron? tina and her lesbian lover? (r. kelly almost shoots them, but claims that they are lucky "he likes that shit" and thus, we can all breathe a sigh of relief that lesbianism is given a free pass).
now, all thematic homophobia aside, you have to remember that the real mind-blower here is that r. kelly spends two hours singing all of this to you, and i mean ALL of it.
as in, "that when tron said 'i have to use the bathroom' and i was like 'what the fuck you gotta use the bathroom for?' and he was like 'i gotta go!' and i was like 'go then, but hurry your ass up, cause i gotta go see this bitch cathy.' and he was like 'fine, i'll hurry' and i was like 'you better, cause your ass is lazy, and you be trippin' if you think i'm gonna wait on your lazy ass." and on and on and on, each scene a seeming endless bog of r. kelly stream of conciousness (and we surely do NOT need to know every stream in r. kelly's conciousness.)
of course, the triumph of the whole mess, i suppose, is the fact that r. kelly interweaves the hilarious irony of the characters literally getting stuck in the closet while they are slogging through uncovering the mystery of "the pastor" and "the package", with the drama of the fact that the pastor is figuratively "trapped in the closet". however, it seems to me, from watching the whole sordid affair last night, that our friend the pastor is not trapped in the closet at all. he seems fine with the whole thing, it's really his wife and boyfriend who are having the hard time, and of course, all those people with a brand new case of A.I.D.S.
these are just my thoughts, on what turned out to be quite more than i bargained for... you can peep the madness yourself here... its quite useful if you want to feel a little less disfunctional.
last night, i came home to find that IFC was playing all 22 episodes of the "trapped in the closet" opus back to back(which takes about two hours, mind you). i had never watched the whole thing, and i must say, even with my existing knowledge of r. kelly's leanings toward bizarre shit, i was taken aback at the sheer lunacy of it all.
let's get a few things established. with "trapped in the closet," r. kelly has composed something along the lines of an opera(in that everything is sung. everything.) which appears to warn against the dangers of homosexuality(and being, of course, on the down-low- trapped in the closet, if you will). In doing so, it goes way beyond homophobia, arriving at the brink of hysteria, in that just about the entire cast winds up contracting "the package" (um, A.I.D.S) except for the old chick myrna, and her huband randolph(or something). even the midget male stripper gets it, from omar from the wire's wife, no less. and all because "the pastor" was bonin' chuck, the homosexual character who, of course, winds up giving them all A.I.D.S. duh. that's what homosexuals do!
Now, mind you, there is no real attention drawn to the fact that these characters all sleep with each other on the reg, thus spreading around "the package" which chuck has unwittingly given to "the pastor" or that they seem to be extremely shitty people in general. the entirety of the storyline is in place, it seems, to advance the "moral of the story" which is that a dude shouldn't engage in bonin' another dude on the "down low", or at all, since this practice will only ensure that he and everyone in his entire congregation will contract the A.I.D.S virus.
wow.
did i mention there is a midget male stripper? or what about "pimp luceious"? tron? tina and her lesbian lover? (r. kelly almost shoots them, but claims that they are lucky "he likes that shit" and thus, we can all breathe a sigh of relief that lesbianism is given a free pass).
now, all thematic homophobia aside, you have to remember that the real mind-blower here is that r. kelly spends two hours singing all of this to you, and i mean ALL of it.
as in, "that when tron said 'i have to use the bathroom' and i was like 'what the fuck you gotta use the bathroom for?' and he was like 'i gotta go!' and i was like 'go then, but hurry your ass up, cause i gotta go see this bitch cathy.' and he was like 'fine, i'll hurry' and i was like 'you better, cause your ass is lazy, and you be trippin' if you think i'm gonna wait on your lazy ass." and on and on and on, each scene a seeming endless bog of r. kelly stream of conciousness (and we surely do NOT need to know every stream in r. kelly's conciousness.)
of course, the triumph of the whole mess, i suppose, is the fact that r. kelly interweaves the hilarious irony of the characters literally getting stuck in the closet while they are slogging through uncovering the mystery of "the pastor" and "the package", with the drama of the fact that the pastor is figuratively "trapped in the closet". however, it seems to me, from watching the whole sordid affair last night, that our friend the pastor is not trapped in the closet at all. he seems fine with the whole thing, it's really his wife and boyfriend who are having the hard time, and of course, all those people with a brand new case of A.I.D.S.
these are just my thoughts, on what turned out to be quite more than i bargained for... you can peep the madness yourself here... its quite useful if you want to feel a little less disfunctional.
Monday, March 02, 2009
this "snow day" is pretty weak, y'all
so, last night before the snow started, it seemed like this was gonna be one hell of a storm. here's my take on snowstorms: either go big or get that bullshit out of here. if it isn't bad enough to get everything canceled, it just becomes a giant, hairy pain in the ass, because we new yorkers have to walk all over the place and rely solely on public transportation, which we can tell you, doesn't hold up so well in these conditions.
i thought this storm would be on the order of the one we had in 2003, when we holed up in julie's apartment for three days and sarah kept emerging from the kitchen every few hours with freshly cooked meals for us. what i remember about that experience is that i was never without a fresh martini, or occasionally, champagne(if it was morning) and that it fucking rocked, dude. the only time i left the premises was to go skitching on the back of matt "irv gotti" gottesman's party van, and also, i believe, to go sledding at the bethpage black(ok, not on the actual black, but on the grounds of the golf course, on one of the shittier courses). we didn't do a damn thing for that whole time, and it was because we got like three feet of snow, so no one else was doing anything, either.
when we get a storm like the one we are currently having, it's only sorta-bad, so everyone has different opinions on whether things should shut down or not. for instance, the nyc public schools are closed, yet my school is open. that blows. especially because i don't have class until tonight, when everything will be icy and it will be even colder than it is right now. i will probably fall down at some point, i just want to put that out there ahead of time.
in addition, charles williams had to go to work, just because the corporate d-bags (and the d stands for "douche") he works for had some dumb meeting today so they all had their drivers brave the treacherous roadways to bring their punk asses down here from connecticut or wherever the hell their rich asses live. sucks, i tell you. we should be eating chili and watching "first take" on espn right now, but this bogus-ass storm fell into the "get that bullshit out of here" category.
it's disappointing. a waste of precipitation, if you ask me. and for a winter that has been pretty hellishly cold, i really feel as if we deserve at least one bona-fide snow day. unfortunately, this ain't it.
i thought this storm would be on the order of the one we had in 2003, when we holed up in julie's apartment for three days and sarah kept emerging from the kitchen every few hours with freshly cooked meals for us. what i remember about that experience is that i was never without a fresh martini, or occasionally, champagne(if it was morning) and that it fucking rocked, dude. the only time i left the premises was to go skitching on the back of matt "irv gotti" gottesman's party van, and also, i believe, to go sledding at the bethpage black(ok, not on the actual black, but on the grounds of the golf course, on one of the shittier courses). we didn't do a damn thing for that whole time, and it was because we got like three feet of snow, so no one else was doing anything, either.
when we get a storm like the one we are currently having, it's only sorta-bad, so everyone has different opinions on whether things should shut down or not. for instance, the nyc public schools are closed, yet my school is open. that blows. especially because i don't have class until tonight, when everything will be icy and it will be even colder than it is right now. i will probably fall down at some point, i just want to put that out there ahead of time.
in addition, charles williams had to go to work, just because the corporate d-bags (and the d stands for "douche") he works for had some dumb meeting today so they all had their drivers brave the treacherous roadways to bring their punk asses down here from connecticut or wherever the hell their rich asses live. sucks, i tell you. we should be eating chili and watching "first take" on espn right now, but this bogus-ass storm fell into the "get that bullshit out of here" category.
it's disappointing. a waste of precipitation, if you ask me. and for a winter that has been pretty hellishly cold, i really feel as if we deserve at least one bona-fide snow day. unfortunately, this ain't it.
Friday, February 27, 2009
back in the high life, again.
i haven't been able to come up for air very much this month. for instance, i barely even realized that i turned 33 at some point, and that was weeks ago! today is the first day where i can actually just sit still for a minute, and not be pressed by some impending due date or doom, or whatever... i started to clean the apartment, which i have sorta noticed over the last few weeks has become overrun with cat hair tumbleweeds and the little tufts of carpet that the cats pull out when they are doing their manic scratching routines(often). it is also covered in a significant layer of dust, which is inevitable when you live in new york city and have your windows open for any length of time. especially on a street like first ave, where it is buses and trucks all day and night.
anyhow, now that i have a minute to sit and reflect on the happenings of the past month or so, i have become aware of the fact that cw and i developed a pretty serious habit over the past few weeks, one that has actually served us quite well: chili.
that is, chili in the crock pot, which cw has been making about once a week. it usually lasts a few days, which has helped in the midst of the chaos surrounding my academic life most of the time. it is nice to just have a whole meal ready to go in one bowl. and a delicious one at that. it's not even that bad for my points count!
that's the really interesting part: over the past month, aside from being terribly hectic, and eating a lot of chili, cw and i joined the gym, and i started counting points on weight watchers. i always avoided ww cause it seemed like it would be a pain in the ass, but it is actually totally awesome. it's a great help to have a guideline in my head as far as where i am in my daily eating, and i have found that it is not hard at all to stay under my points total, even eating mad chili and pizza and all sorts of other stuff you would think would be totally off-limits. i sound like fucking valerie bertenelli, i know, but for real, it's pretty awesome.
anyhow, the final aspect of the discoveries i am making about our habits this month has been this: we all know that we are in the middle of a giant "clusterfuck to the poorhouse" as jon stewart puts it, so we have to be mindful of our spending. i have one word for you:
presidente.
anyhow, now that i have a minute to sit and reflect on the happenings of the past month or so, i have become aware of the fact that cw and i developed a pretty serious habit over the past few weeks, one that has actually served us quite well: chili.
that is, chili in the crock pot, which cw has been making about once a week. it usually lasts a few days, which has helped in the midst of the chaos surrounding my academic life most of the time. it is nice to just have a whole meal ready to go in one bowl. and a delicious one at that. it's not even that bad for my points count!
that's the really interesting part: over the past month, aside from being terribly hectic, and eating a lot of chili, cw and i joined the gym, and i started counting points on weight watchers. i always avoided ww cause it seemed like it would be a pain in the ass, but it is actually totally awesome. it's a great help to have a guideline in my head as far as where i am in my daily eating, and i have found that it is not hard at all to stay under my points total, even eating mad chili and pizza and all sorts of other stuff you would think would be totally off-limits. i sound like fucking valerie bertenelli, i know, but for real, it's pretty awesome.
anyhow, the final aspect of the discoveries i am making about our habits this month has been this: we all know that we are in the middle of a giant "clusterfuck to the poorhouse" as jon stewart puts it, so we have to be mindful of our spending. i have one word for you:
presidente.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
surely you can't be serious.
you know how in movies and television shows there are always these crazy scenarios that arise where someone does a shit-ton of work on the computer, only to lose it in an instant due to some weird, inexplicable computer glitch, endlessly fucking them for all eternity?
that just happened to me!
i can't believe it, actually, because it is just way too cliche, but i literally spent about three hours today putting together what was to be the final draft of my "professional goals statement" so that i could mail this godforsaken application out this afternoon. now three hours was just the home stretch, folks. i have written about fifteen drafts of this thing, and that's not counting how many times the sentences in those drafts have been re-written and moved around and shit. this has been going on for weeks, literally.
but then today, when i swear to you i was approaching the moment(and the word count) where i was going to say "okay. that's it." and print the fucking thing out and be done with it, in an act of epic stupidity, i decided to do something epically stupid. worse, it was something that i would normally NEVER DO. i just keep asking myself why... why?
i selected all, copied the text, opened a new document and pasted it. now here's where things went wrong. instead of saving that document first, i went back to the other one and closed it, clicking "no" when it asked me if i wanted to save the changes. i did this because there was a sentence from one of the earlier iterations that i wanted to use, and i figured that by not saving the changes, i would get the old draft back. which was true, but unfortunately, as i went back to the brand new, UNSAVED document, to add the sentence, name it something like "FINAL FINAL DRAFT, FOREVER HOLDING ITS PEACE" and save it, the computer did something wonky and all of a sudden that dreaded "Word Has Encountered an Error and Needs to Close" screen came up.
WHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTT? an error? what error? why now? no, don't close... wait! not yet, why... what... how... FUCK!
I scrambled to figure out how to do something, but it was already asking me politely if I would like to send an error report to Microsoft. no comment there, dudes.
i am speechless.
so, to sum up: my very-close-to-finished draft of the piece which has been plaguing me day and night for weeks is in the ether. the draft i do have is one that was saved about 600 revisions ago, and upon looking at it, i have realized that, boy, did i change this shit A LOT in three hours.
no more today. i can't deal. i may try again tomorrow, although i can't imagine anything i would like to do (or am equipped to do for that matter)less at this point. fuck.
that just happened to me!
i can't believe it, actually, because it is just way too cliche, but i literally spent about three hours today putting together what was to be the final draft of my "professional goals statement" so that i could mail this godforsaken application out this afternoon. now three hours was just the home stretch, folks. i have written about fifteen drafts of this thing, and that's not counting how many times the sentences in those drafts have been re-written and moved around and shit. this has been going on for weeks, literally.
but then today, when i swear to you i was approaching the moment(and the word count) where i was going to say "okay. that's it." and print the fucking thing out and be done with it, in an act of epic stupidity, i decided to do something epically stupid. worse, it was something that i would normally NEVER DO. i just keep asking myself why... why?
i selected all, copied the text, opened a new document and pasted it. now here's where things went wrong. instead of saving that document first, i went back to the other one and closed it, clicking "no" when it asked me if i wanted to save the changes. i did this because there was a sentence from one of the earlier iterations that i wanted to use, and i figured that by not saving the changes, i would get the old draft back. which was true, but unfortunately, as i went back to the brand new, UNSAVED document, to add the sentence, name it something like "FINAL FINAL DRAFT, FOREVER HOLDING ITS PEACE" and save it, the computer did something wonky and all of a sudden that dreaded "Word Has Encountered an Error and Needs to Close" screen came up.
WHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTT? an error? what error? why now? no, don't close... wait! not yet, why... what... how... FUCK!
I scrambled to figure out how to do something, but it was already asking me politely if I would like to send an error report to Microsoft. no comment there, dudes.
i am speechless.
so, to sum up: my very-close-to-finished draft of the piece which has been plaguing me day and night for weeks is in the ether. the draft i do have is one that was saved about 600 revisions ago, and upon looking at it, i have realized that, boy, did i change this shit A LOT in three hours.
no more today. i can't deal. i may try again tomorrow, although i can't imagine anything i would like to do (or am equipped to do for that matter)less at this point. fuck.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
don't worry!
i'm fine, just needed to vent a little yesterday. somewhere along the line i seem to have lost sight of the fact that being accepted for (even more) school does actually not hold my entire life in the balance, should i not, let's say, get in... there are plenty of other options, many of which i was planning to go with quite happily up until about a week ago when the grad school application fever took me and i became hysterical.
all better now. i took the evil GRE, and screw it. screw standardized testing. it's balls.
amusing side note: in the prep book i was using by Kaplan(you know, the people you can pay an arm and a leg to so they can teach you the "secrets" of the test?) there is actually a section designed to beat down any rebellious feelings one might have against the idea of the GRE, claiming that it doesn't really do any good to "rail against standardized tests" so you might as well just suck it up and get good at the damn thing. i see their point, in some regards, but i also disagree with it wholeheartedly, on an ideological basis. why not "rail against standardized tests"? somebody should, or we are just gonna have to keep sitting for the fucking things, and nobody wants to do that! i say, go! rebellious GRE dissenter! run free from the test center and tell your graduate school to go screw itself!
now if you will, just mail my scores to....
all better now. i took the evil GRE, and screw it. screw standardized testing. it's balls.
amusing side note: in the prep book i was using by Kaplan(you know, the people you can pay an arm and a leg to so they can teach you the "secrets" of the test?) there is actually a section designed to beat down any rebellious feelings one might have against the idea of the GRE, claiming that it doesn't really do any good to "rail against standardized tests" so you might as well just suck it up and get good at the damn thing. i see their point, in some regards, but i also disagree with it wholeheartedly, on an ideological basis. why not "rail against standardized tests"? somebody should, or we are just gonna have to keep sitting for the fucking things, and nobody wants to do that! i say, go! rebellious GRE dissenter! run free from the test center and tell your graduate school to go screw itself!
now if you will, just mail my scores to....
Friday, February 20, 2009
"when it's all the little things, so overwhelming to me..."
like seeing it through, paying my bills, showin' up for work early... blah blah blah.
sing it, girl. it's times like these that i feel that song the most. i just lost my school id(a bit more precious than your average school id, since it is also my work id for two different jobs) and for the ten minutes until i found it, the world started to close in on me like one of those rooms that batman would always get stuck in with the shrinking walls. was that even batman? i don't know. if it isn't on the GRE or something i need to know for teaching English 210, i don't know it right now. i don't really know much about those two things either. blankness.
speaking of, when this is all over, i plan to re-up my addiction to "Making the Band 4" that will make everything seem okay, because as long as I am not any of the dudes or chicks on that show, i think i be doing alllllriiiiiight. not really, though. at least they have puffy makin' sure they eat. fuck.
oh, and i also plan to find out what is making the popping sound in my kitchen, cause it is DRIVING ME FUCKING CRAZY.
that is all.
sing it, girl. it's times like these that i feel that song the most. i just lost my school id(a bit more precious than your average school id, since it is also my work id for two different jobs) and for the ten minutes until i found it, the world started to close in on me like one of those rooms that batman would always get stuck in with the shrinking walls. was that even batman? i don't know. if it isn't on the GRE or something i need to know for teaching English 210, i don't know it right now. i don't really know much about those two things either. blankness.
speaking of, when this is all over, i plan to re-up my addiction to "Making the Band 4" that will make everything seem okay, because as long as I am not any of the dudes or chicks on that show, i think i be doing alllllriiiiiight. not really, though. at least they have puffy makin' sure they eat. fuck.
oh, and i also plan to find out what is making the popping sound in my kitchen, cause it is DRIVING ME FUCKING CRAZY.
that is all.
Thursday, February 05, 2009
The Writer is President of the United States...
Barack Obama's Op-Ed for the Washington Post, Feb. 5th, 2009
I know it's terribly idealistic of me, but I am totally head over heels for this guy! I think he is doing a hell of a job! I think writing to the American people in the frickin' Washington Post is brilliant and wonderful! Go Obama.
I know it's terribly idealistic of me, but I am totally head over heels for this guy! I think he is doing a hell of a job! I think writing to the American people in the frickin' Washington Post is brilliant and wonderful! Go Obama.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
BARF.
so i can't believe this is actually happening, but i have to create a myspace account FOR MY FREAKIN' CLASS. it's all about "what the kids are doing," i know, and i understand, but can't we use another medium? anything! i will create my own freaking webpage from scratch! i will knit a webpage and then cover it in papier maiche and sculpt a working crackberry from play-doh! whatever you want... anything but this. ANYTHING!!!!
ugh. i can't believe i have to do this. i am in denial. gross.
ugh. i can't believe i have to do this. i am in denial. gross.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
obamathon!!
i am so late to the blog-posting-about-the-inauguration party! i better get going...
so first off, let me just say... BLACK PRESIDENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! awesome.
secondly, let me state, officially, for the record, that once i sat down to watch the proceedings at about 10AM yesterday, i became super pissed that i had bailed on going down to DC. i recant all of my reasons from the second post, and revert back to the first post, ex-post facto, section 5-d, paragraph 2. i am a SUCKER! but whatever. wasn't in the cards, as they say. i just want everyone to know that my punk ass stands corrected. and i totally would've tore up that neighborhood ball! if they had let me on the stage to dance with the obamas during "signed, sealed, delivered" i totally would have busted a move, all over that piece, not just in a big clump like all those people that they did let up there to dance like idiots. they should've auditioned them at least a little before they let them up there. did you guys see that??? it's stevie wonder dude! black president! let's cut loose, for heaven's sake!
but i get ahead of myself.
my intention had been to blog throughout the day, in a sort of running diary fashion, a la the sports guy. however, i was too busy intermittently sobbing and running around the apartment with joy and also i don't yet have my super amazingly awesome macbook that i will have in a few weeks, so it would've been kinda hard to running-blog, since the TV is in the other room and all. so i just made sure the kleenex were nearby and then settled in for the broadcast.
i first started to well up a bit when the motorcade headed for the capitol building. i was like, dude! this is it...
then when he came out to the stage i really got emotional, which was accentuated by aretha's rendition of "my country 'tis of thee" it got me to thinking, because we used to sing that song when i was in preschool, after the pledge of allegiance, and i thought back to what it was like to be a kid and have absolutely no conception of race and inequality and real suffering. and then to have grown up without a sense that something like yesterday could happen in my lifetime, let alone aretha franklin's lifetime... well... i just was floored all over again. it felt a little bit new again, you know? a little bit innocent and hopeful and stuff. i know you know.
that's the thing that kinda irked me about the commentators, from every channel- no one was innocent in this regard- they seemed far more interested in talking hypothetically about what obama has to do now, the economic situation, the middle east, etc... and sure, that is all very important stuff, duly noted in obama's excellent speech, but at that moment, during the run-up to the inauguration itself, and as the camera panned around at all the faces in the crowd, young and old, of all races and ethnicities, all the civil rights leaders who fought with their lives, who watched their friends and family die because of racial hatred and ignorance, i felt the only story for that moment was of the historic significance of this man as an elected official to the highest office of the United States. as one commentator finally put it, much later on in the evening, obama was taking the oath of office to go and govern from a building that was built by the hands of slaves. and not very long ago at all, really.
i know everyone wants so badly to "get over" race issues in this country, and i could go on for hours about that idea, but for this purpose i will say that downplaying the significance of barack obama as our first black president is not the way to go about that. and no, in four months, when the issue is economics, or the issue is war, or the issue is whatever else, the most significant note will not be that barack obama is our nation's first black president. but yesterday, it was the most important thing. and people like brian williams, and tom brokaw, dudes i expect to KNOW THIS really pissed me off by yammering on, in speculation of things that we cannot possibly know yet. i think they probably thought that it would be wrong to not treat obama exactly as they would have treated any other president-elect about to be sworn in, but this time was different. for the first time, it was different. and they shoulda recognized...
anyhow. i have to end my inaugural reflections there, but suffice to say, it was, in my opinion, the greatest day in american history thus far, and i am so happy to have been alive to see it, and so proud to have been a part of it!
so first off, let me just say... BLACK PRESIDENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! awesome.
secondly, let me state, officially, for the record, that once i sat down to watch the proceedings at about 10AM yesterday, i became super pissed that i had bailed on going down to DC. i recant all of my reasons from the second post, and revert back to the first post, ex-post facto, section 5-d, paragraph 2. i am a SUCKER! but whatever. wasn't in the cards, as they say. i just want everyone to know that my punk ass stands corrected. and i totally would've tore up that neighborhood ball! if they had let me on the stage to dance with the obamas during "signed, sealed, delivered" i totally would have busted a move, all over that piece, not just in a big clump like all those people that they did let up there to dance like idiots. they should've auditioned them at least a little before they let them up there. did you guys see that??? it's stevie wonder dude! black president! let's cut loose, for heaven's sake!
but i get ahead of myself.
my intention had been to blog throughout the day, in a sort of running diary fashion, a la the sports guy. however, i was too busy intermittently sobbing and running around the apartment with joy and also i don't yet have my super amazingly awesome macbook that i will have in a few weeks, so it would've been kinda hard to running-blog, since the TV is in the other room and all. so i just made sure the kleenex were nearby and then settled in for the broadcast.
i first started to well up a bit when the motorcade headed for the capitol building. i was like, dude! this is it...
then when he came out to the stage i really got emotional, which was accentuated by aretha's rendition of "my country 'tis of thee" it got me to thinking, because we used to sing that song when i was in preschool, after the pledge of allegiance, and i thought back to what it was like to be a kid and have absolutely no conception of race and inequality and real suffering. and then to have grown up without a sense that something like yesterday could happen in my lifetime, let alone aretha franklin's lifetime... well... i just was floored all over again. it felt a little bit new again, you know? a little bit innocent and hopeful and stuff. i know you know.
that's the thing that kinda irked me about the commentators, from every channel- no one was innocent in this regard- they seemed far more interested in talking hypothetically about what obama has to do now, the economic situation, the middle east, etc... and sure, that is all very important stuff, duly noted in obama's excellent speech, but at that moment, during the run-up to the inauguration itself, and as the camera panned around at all the faces in the crowd, young and old, of all races and ethnicities, all the civil rights leaders who fought with their lives, who watched their friends and family die because of racial hatred and ignorance, i felt the only story for that moment was of the historic significance of this man as an elected official to the highest office of the United States. as one commentator finally put it, much later on in the evening, obama was taking the oath of office to go and govern from a building that was built by the hands of slaves. and not very long ago at all, really.
i know everyone wants so badly to "get over" race issues in this country, and i could go on for hours about that idea, but for this purpose i will say that downplaying the significance of barack obama as our first black president is not the way to go about that. and no, in four months, when the issue is economics, or the issue is war, or the issue is whatever else, the most significant note will not be that barack obama is our nation's first black president. but yesterday, it was the most important thing. and people like brian williams, and tom brokaw, dudes i expect to KNOW THIS really pissed me off by yammering on, in speculation of things that we cannot possibly know yet. i think they probably thought that it would be wrong to not treat obama exactly as they would have treated any other president-elect about to be sworn in, but this time was different. for the first time, it was different. and they shoulda recognized...
anyhow. i have to end my inaugural reflections there, but suffice to say, it was, in my opinion, the greatest day in american history thus far, and i am so happy to have been alive to see it, and so proud to have been a part of it!
Thursday, January 15, 2009
holy crap!
just days after i took my own flight on US Airways, (and freaked pretty much the whole time, since i am not the most relaxed airplane passenger) a Charlotte, NC-bound flight crashed into the Hudson river this afternoon!this pic is pretty crazy, but as you can see, the passengers were safe and, aside from being really cold, are said to be in good health. apparently a flock of geese got sucked into the engines or something, causing both engines to fail! this is the kind of thing that is going to make it very hard for me to get on a plane anytime in the near future, but i'll try to keep it together. i'm just glad everyone is okay.
speaking of flying, i meant to blog about our flight home from Richmond the other night, when we made the mistake of patronizing the mickey mouse operation that is united airlines. the price was dirt cheap, but now i know why...
when we arrived at the airport in Richmond, we were pretty early, but when we went to the gate, we found them boarding a plane. i think they had actually made an announcement about this while we were going through security, but at that point i was too busy getting yelled at by the x-ray machine operator for not making sure my bags were fully on the belt before going through the metal detector. what is this, new york? anyhow, it turned out it was an earlier flight, which had been delayed from 3:30. (it was 7pm) but they had room, so they let us on. when we boarded, i noted the grim faces on my fellow passengers, all of whom were no doubt incensed at the fact that they now had waited, like, 5 hours to get to D.C. it's only an hour away by car, for christ's sake. that would have driven me over the edge.
as i settled into my seat, i became aware of the lone stewardess. she not only looked about 15, but proceeded to act the part, spending all of the time that we were pre-flight boarding laughing hysterically and flirting with the pilots. she also kept getting on the intercom and making these totally unnecessary, repetitive announcements in her affected-teenage-esque manner which made me really uncomfortable. i couldn't see the pilots from where i was sitting, but i hoped to god they were over-18.
anyhow, she continued to carry on this way for the duration, including the part where, during takeoff, something flew off a shelf in the little stewardess cubby and she sighed really loudly and rolled her eyes, as if to say " this fucking piece of crap airplane..." or at least that's what i imagined her saying, as i clutched the armrest and tried to hold back the vomit rising in my throat. there was also this really sketchy frat-boy type dude, who looked like he could totally be some kind of right wing gun nut, who kept getting up and making for the bathroom at high speed. maybe he had diarrea, but i couldn't shake the fear that he was plotting something more sinister for our tiny flight, due to my heightened anxiety. (some people profile arab-americans, i profile frat-boys. that's right.)
the only thing that saved me was that the flight was literally 20 minutes long. it took longer to get to the gate at Washington-Dulles(which may be the weirdest and most ass-backwardly planned airport ever) than it did to fly to D.C. again, had I been one of the delayed passengers, i probably would have hit that crazy stewardess over the head with whatever was handy, be it SkyMall or whatever. the plane was too small to fit anything other than a coat and small bag, so we were pretty much without any suitable weaponry, but still...
we passed her, again flirting with the pilots, once we (finally) de-boarded and entered the labyrinth-like terminal, and i wondered if someone might just break out of the line and wrestle her to the ground and start pummeling, but alas, i did not witness such an event. oh, and also, adding to my extreme flying paranoia was the fact that the pilot blamed the delay on a faulty plane but didn't actually manage to convince me that we were now on a different plane. i think it's important to note that information, for the benefit of people like me. otherwise, questions remain.
anyhow, now at Dulles, we undertook trying to find our next flight gate, which sadly, didn't take off till much later. Charles did get a voice mail telling him our Richmond flight had been delayed, so it turned out for the best that we wound up on the flight with the looney tune and co, even if it did just set us up for a marathon wait in DC.
previously, out on the tarmac, while we were waiting for our bags(more on this later, but suffice to say, the economic crunch coupled with airline bitchassedness has made the experience of flying commercial, even in the most cosmopolitan cities in the world, much like what i imagine it must be like to be on one of those third-world airplanes, with the livestock and shit. very, very disorganized, and most of the time, especially when you are say, standing on the tarmac at Dulles in the middle of the winter waiting for dudes in navy-blue reflective jumpsuits to bring you your bag while the refueling tanker pulls up just to your left, you feel like something is very, very wrong with the picture) we saw what appeared to be these giant rolling FEMA-trailers crossing from one long terminal building to another. naively, i thought that these must be for airport personnel, or machinery, but then i came to find out that they were actually for me, and you, and anyone else who needed to get from terminals "a"and "b" to terminals "c" and "d." wow. ok.
so we got in the rolling FEMA- trailer, which took us out past our previous aircraft, and over to the other "wing" of Dulles. here we sat around and watched CNN for two hours, while peeping the absolutely ridiculous get ups that people apparently feel comfortable wearing to the airport. the first winner of this contest, (the contest to determine who has set the bar the lowest concerning the clothes that they will not only wear out of the house, but are also prepared to die in, should they fall victim to a plane crash) were the very fat woman with severely damaged bleached-blonde hair, who had been out in the sun somewhere recently for way too long, and who donned a skintight, all-white lycra ensemble consisting of a tank top, mini-skirt and hoodie sweatshirt, with white socks and white sneakers. really brought out that sunburn, as well as the extraordinarily pronounced fat rolls which covered her entire body. this was a little too much for the latent- hangover-mixed-with-mild-air-sickness i was nursing at the time.
the co-winner was the young lady who decided it would be a good idea to wear white knee-high tube socks underneath those ridiculous, knee high timberland-type boot things(i say this as if i have seen others of this variety, but the truth is, these took it much further than i have ever seen) so that the top of the tube sock was visible over the boot, and then finished off the look with one of those catholic school skirts. i can't imagine what this chick was seeing when she looked in the mirror. it was beyond all comprehension.
finally, we boarded our plane, which, i unhappily noted upon entering the cabin, was really, really old. it was dirty, the writing on the overhead compartments was all worn off...you get the idea. Charles tried to cheer me up by calling it "sturdy," but i knew the truth. shit was OLD, son. real old. speaking of real old, the senior citizen seated behind us fell asleep as soon as her seat belt was buckled and started doing the "snuffalupagus" snore... you know, with the whinnying sound? her husband didn't deem it necessary to alert her, although i have a feeling she wouldn't have cared, and he probably knows better anyhow. when i'm that age, if i am still getting on planes, i won't care if i snore on some packed flight from DC to NY on an old-ass plane. i'll probably punch someone in the face if they try and complain about it, too. so i can't really fault the old bag.
for some reason, the co-pilot decided to make the pre-flight announcements from the passenger cabin, rather than the cockpit(the intercom was broken, maybe? it was really old...) and that turned out to suck because i have never seen someone look, sound and act, more nervous in my life. i am pretty sure he was visibly shaking. he was definitely sweating, and his voice quivered as he "welcomed" us to our NY bound flight. i just closed my eyes at that point. closed my eyes, and listened to the soothing sounds of snuffy, coming from the seat behind me...
the final test of the journey came as we once again lined up to wait for our "carry-on" bags, this time in that crazy little tunnel that they (sometimes) attach to the plane so you can get to the terminal. the whole frickin' flight was lined up in there waiting and then they just started throwing bags through the door, so it became a sort of luggage feeding frenzy. in this midst of it all, this old lady in a giant fur coat was being wheeled off the plane in a wheel chair(why she couldn't make it down that little hallway, i don't know. she could walk, i saw her.) the dude wheeling it was about 4 foot 2 and weighed about 100 pounds (old lady weighed considerably more) and he was trying to push the wheelchair uphill and hit one of the raised floor parts, jostling her forward, and she screamed really loud. my nerves were kinda shot by then, so i envisioned myself smacking her across the face to try and calm myself down, while poor Charles fought valiantly for our bags.
all this so we could get, like, 50 bucks off the cost of the flight... never again, united, never again!
oh, and about the bag-checking thing: so now all the airlines are charging you 15 bucks for the first checked bag and then like 25 for any additional. which BLOWS, obviously. but you can have one carry-on, plus like, a purse or whatever. so we carried everything on, but when you get to the plane, it's too small for your shit, even the stuff that they say is regulation-size. so you wind up having to give it to them anyhow, so they can put it under the plane! and then you also wind up, as i mentioned, standing in the freezing cold getting your hearing damaged by jet-engines while angry airline dudes throw your bags at you! just check the damn things for free! wtf???
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
you know what? never mind about all that "we have to go to the inauguration!" stuff
so, i guess one of the things about becoming an old person is that you get totally hype about doing something ahead of time and then the reality of the situation sets in and you scrap the whole plan just as easily as you dreamed it up.
now, i know that there are far worse things about being an old person yet to come, like... well, i am not going to go there, cause we all know what i am talking about (or if you don't, you can probably catch a couple of commercials in the next five minutes that will tell you what kind of pills are available to try and deal with it when it inevitably happens) but i guess it's just a little disappointing to me that i am not, in fact, going to be at the inauguration. and i guess what's even more disappointing is that this is totally okay with me, given the circumstances.
see, despite how great i made that last post sound about the spirit of going for it and throwing everything to the wind in order to be a part of history, i pretty much have to defer to all the reasons why it wasn't a feasible idea in the first place. those would be:
1. money. economic downturn, son.
2. cold. we got back to NY at about 11pm the other night and had to take the bus from laguardia to manhattan, and then the train back down to our block. i think i was probably in the cold for about 45 minutes total, with small breaks in between while on the bus or train, and i was totally not into it. give me my couch and a frickin' blanket, dude. and a cup of hot chocolate with hennesy in it. that's where it's at!
3. people. here in nyc, we are in the midst of our second full month of holiday tourist season, and i, for one, am basically at the end of my rope. in fact, if it wasn't for the fact that we just spent four days in richmond, i would probably have beaten some swedish person to death by now. or german. finnish? i have no idea. or iowanian. what the hell do you call people from iowa anyhow, besides annyoing as fuck? i have to get on the train for work in an hour or so, and so help me, if anyone with four large backpacks strapped to them tries to block the train door, i will probably spend the night in jail.
so there you have it. money, cold weather and my overall disdain and impatience for my fellow human beings are keeping me home on inauguration day. i may try and attend one of the group viewings happening around town, or i may have my own group viewing here in my living room, with hennesy, reen and clyde. whatever. black president! i'm psyched!
now, i know that there are far worse things about being an old person yet to come, like... well, i am not going to go there, cause we all know what i am talking about (or if you don't, you can probably catch a couple of commercials in the next five minutes that will tell you what kind of pills are available to try and deal with it when it inevitably happens) but i guess it's just a little disappointing to me that i am not, in fact, going to be at the inauguration. and i guess what's even more disappointing is that this is totally okay with me, given the circumstances.
see, despite how great i made that last post sound about the spirit of going for it and throwing everything to the wind in order to be a part of history, i pretty much have to defer to all the reasons why it wasn't a feasible idea in the first place. those would be:
1. money. economic downturn, son.
2. cold. we got back to NY at about 11pm the other night and had to take the bus from laguardia to manhattan, and then the train back down to our block. i think i was probably in the cold for about 45 minutes total, with small breaks in between while on the bus or train, and i was totally not into it. give me my couch and a frickin' blanket, dude. and a cup of hot chocolate with hennesy in it. that's where it's at!
3. people. here in nyc, we are in the midst of our second full month of holiday tourist season, and i, for one, am basically at the end of my rope. in fact, if it wasn't for the fact that we just spent four days in richmond, i would probably have beaten some swedish person to death by now. or german. finnish? i have no idea. or iowanian. what the hell do you call people from iowa anyhow, besides annyoing as fuck? i have to get on the train for work in an hour or so, and so help me, if anyone with four large backpacks strapped to them tries to block the train door, i will probably spend the night in jail.
so there you have it. money, cold weather and my overall disdain and impatience for my fellow human beings are keeping me home on inauguration day. i may try and attend one of the group viewings happening around town, or i may have my own group viewing here in my living room, with hennesy, reen and clyde. whatever. black president! i'm psyched!
Saturday, December 27, 2008
xxxmas 2008
Another awesome, low-key Christmas in the books, with our third-annual Scrabble tournament (Charles won) on Christmas day, as well as a resurgence of chess, lots of delicious food, Veuve Clicquot(thanks, Melinda!), tons of wine, Maker's, Jacques Torres chocolates(thanks, Apollo!) and Lakers-Celts. Couldn't have asked for a more perfect 24 hours.
We watched the requisite year-end sports wrap on ESPN, and it was filled with great memories like Steph Curry's flurry of march madness 3-pointers, which propelled Davidson into the elite eight; Lakers-Celts NBA Finals; Tiger's US Open win on a bad leg against a persistent underdog who forced a monday tiebreaker; Federer-Nadal at Wimbeldon; the improbable Giants winning the Superbowl in the most ridicuoulous miraculous fashion you could imagine; The Olympics- China, Michael Phelps, Usain Bolt and those tiny little gymnasts making for two weeks of absolutely riveting television; the Tampa Bay Rays making me care for a split second about a baseball team other than the Yankees; Texas Tech's amazing NCAAF run this fall, etc. etc.
I don't normally get riled up about things making or not making this sort of list. I feel like there are a lot of sportswriters and producers and such that spend a lot of time watching and analyzing and whatnot and that they probably have a better standpoint from which to evaluate the relative merits of each "accomplishment" or highlight clip from the past year.
This year, I definitely feel like I have been more involved in spectating than ever before in my life- I saw each and every one of the highlights or story lines I mentioned above unfold in real time, and many others beyond that. I doubt there is a major sports moment or story from 2008 that I did not see either as it was happening, or on the very next SportsCenter that followed it. However, normally I would STILL defer to the professionals who's job it is to put together these year end lists of greatness.
BUT, as of today, I do have a bone to pick with ESPN. And it has to do with Candace Parker. Now, I think I am a realist when it comes to disappointing sociocultural conditions affecting our country. I know full well that women's sports are still light-years behind men's sports in terms of the whole "people giving a shit" factor. And that absolutely sucks, bad, but it is not something that is going to change overnight, as the roots lie deep in our perceptions and preconceptions about gender, as well as in our inherent biases regarding the capabilities and viability of certain groups of people.
ESPN, as a for-profit television network, with sponsors and demographics and blah blah blah, obviously knows their viewership and caters to them as much as is necessary for them to continue to rake in the dough they desire to rake, at any given time. If you don't blink, you can occasionally find some women's basketball or softball on there. For the purposes of this post, my bone does not even have to do with the sorry state of affairs when it comes to the lack of parity for women's vs. men's athletics, because that is a gigantic, far reaching issue which I could devote a few days to ranting on about, an issue which in the end comes back to individual psyches and social practices more than anything specific that ESPN does or does not do.
The bone I am picking, then, regards the egregious oversight of not featuring in full prominence the accomplishments of one Candace Parker on ESPN's year-end highlight countdown. Not because women don't get the spotlight enough, or because Candace Parker doesn't get the spotlight enough(both of which are absolutely true) but rather more importantly because she did something in 2008 that no athlete, male or female, black, white, green, blue, rainbow or whatever, has ever done in a calendar year. The list of accomplishments she has compiled is not only unique to her as an athlete, but each individual part also represents a significant athletic achievement, many of these worthy, in and of themselves, of recognition in a year-end highlight special. Put them all together, and there is no question whatsoever that she deserves not only to be mentioned, but to be put in the spotlight, among the elite athletes of 2008 and the most memorable moments of the year.
I hadn't even heard about the full breadth of Candace Parker's 2008 accomplishments until TODAY(and even then, not from ESPN) and I watched all those events above in the past year and more! I watched SportsCenter every single day! I read the sports news! And the regular news! I think I am a pretty good barometer for the claim that this information was not being "highlighted" for the people. And, since I obviously think CP is so great, you know I would have been listening even if they did even the smallest segment on her.
Anyhow, let's discuss what Candace Parker "did" in 2008, shall we?
-In March, as a senior at Tennessee, she led her team, the Lady Vols, to their 2nd straight NCAA championship.
-She was the 1st pick in the 2008 WNBA draft.
-Received the 2008 WNBA Rookie of the Year award
-Received the 2008 WNBA MVP award
-Played on the 2008 USA Women's Basketball Gold Medal winning team in Beijing
-Won the AP's Female Athlete of the year award 2008
uh... Wow. Well, first off, to start trying to put this into perspective, here is a quote regarding her MVP and Rookie of the Year awards:
Parker joined the short list of rookies to win the MVP in their first year in the major sports. Wilt Chamberlain and Wes Unseld did it in the NBA, Fred Lynn and Ichiro Suzuki in major league baseball, and Jim Brown in the NFL.
Again, let me emphasize that the list above is all within 2008. 12 months, y'all. There are many, many great athletes who may at best have one of those accolades in a year, a few over a lifetime. Candace Parker accumulated them all since LAST JANUARY.
So I think the word "egregious" is necessary and the term "oversight" is appropriate, when trying to understand why CP's year isn't up there with talk of the Giant's Superbowl win, or Tiger's US Open victory. At the very least!
CW and I were discussing this whole thing earlier and decided that the only other comparable sports accomplishment of the year is Michael Phelps' record breaking gold medal tally in Beijing. I can't understand why other, more influential people wouldn't see it that way, but I can hazard some pretty cynical guesses. Case in point: to write this post, I googled "Candace Parker" and the first results were her official WNBA page, Wikipedia, an article about her eloping with her husband, Sacramento King's bench warmer and former dukie Shelden Williams(not hating on Shelden, don't worry) and then finally a story from The Canadian Press about her AP award. The Canadian Press! What about the United States?!? You know, the country she is from and where she plays? As it is, the Canadian article was undoubtedly the most popular because her brother, Anthony, plays for the Raptors.
Anyhow, this is ridiculous. Candace Parker deserves to be just as big a sports story as Michael Phelps, yet she is pushed way back behind every other little blip on the radar. Texas Tech, for instance: they were outstanding for three months, yes, absolutely. But in the end they got their ass handed to them by Oklahoma, Graham Harrell got to stay home from the Heisman ceremony and they are now playing in the Fort Worth Credit Union Petting Zoo Cowboy Hat Bowl or something. Not nearly as impressive as my girl Candace Parker.
Start showing some love, ESPN. Especially when it's a no-brainer like this one. Totally unacceptable.
some delicious champagne, and not a vowel in sight...
We watched the requisite year-end sports wrap on ESPN, and it was filled with great memories like Steph Curry's flurry of march madness 3-pointers, which propelled Davidson into the elite eight; Lakers-Celts NBA Finals; Tiger's US Open win on a bad leg against a persistent underdog who forced a monday tiebreaker; Federer-Nadal at Wimbeldon; the improbable Giants winning the Superbowl in the most ridicuoulous miraculous fashion you could imagine; The Olympics- China, Michael Phelps, Usain Bolt and those tiny little gymnasts making for two weeks of absolutely riveting television; the Tampa Bay Rays making me care for a split second about a baseball team other than the Yankees; Texas Tech's amazing NCAAF run this fall, etc. etc.
I don't normally get riled up about things making or not making this sort of list. I feel like there are a lot of sportswriters and producers and such that spend a lot of time watching and analyzing and whatnot and that they probably have a better standpoint from which to evaluate the relative merits of each "accomplishment" or highlight clip from the past year.
This year, I definitely feel like I have been more involved in spectating than ever before in my life- I saw each and every one of the highlights or story lines I mentioned above unfold in real time, and many others beyond that. I doubt there is a major sports moment or story from 2008 that I did not see either as it was happening, or on the very next SportsCenter that followed it. However, normally I would STILL defer to the professionals who's job it is to put together these year end lists of greatness.
BUT, as of today, I do have a bone to pick with ESPN. And it has to do with Candace Parker. Now, I think I am a realist when it comes to disappointing sociocultural conditions affecting our country. I know full well that women's sports are still light-years behind men's sports in terms of the whole "people giving a shit" factor. And that absolutely sucks, bad, but it is not something that is going to change overnight, as the roots lie deep in our perceptions and preconceptions about gender, as well as in our inherent biases regarding the capabilities and viability of certain groups of people.
ESPN, as a for-profit television network, with sponsors and demographics and blah blah blah, obviously knows their viewership and caters to them as much as is necessary for them to continue to rake in the dough they desire to rake, at any given time. If you don't blink, you can occasionally find some women's basketball or softball on there. For the purposes of this post, my bone does not even have to do with the sorry state of affairs when it comes to the lack of parity for women's vs. men's athletics, because that is a gigantic, far reaching issue which I could devote a few days to ranting on about, an issue which in the end comes back to individual psyches and social practices more than anything specific that ESPN does or does not do.
The bone I am picking, then, regards the egregious oversight of not featuring in full prominence the accomplishments of one Candace Parker on ESPN's year-end highlight countdown. Not because women don't get the spotlight enough, or because Candace Parker doesn't get the spotlight enough(both of which are absolutely true) but rather more importantly because she did something in 2008 that no athlete, male or female, black, white, green, blue, rainbow or whatever, has ever done in a calendar year. The list of accomplishments she has compiled is not only unique to her as an athlete, but each individual part also represents a significant athletic achievement, many of these worthy, in and of themselves, of recognition in a year-end highlight special. Put them all together, and there is no question whatsoever that she deserves not only to be mentioned, but to be put in the spotlight, among the elite athletes of 2008 and the most memorable moments of the year.
I hadn't even heard about the full breadth of Candace Parker's 2008 accomplishments until TODAY(and even then, not from ESPN) and I watched all those events above in the past year and more! I watched SportsCenter every single day! I read the sports news! And the regular news! I think I am a pretty good barometer for the claim that this information was not being "highlighted" for the people. And, since I obviously think CP is so great, you know I would have been listening even if they did even the smallest segment on her.
Anyhow, let's discuss what Candace Parker "did" in 2008, shall we?
-In March, as a senior at Tennessee, she led her team, the Lady Vols, to their 2nd straight NCAA championship.
-She was the 1st pick in the 2008 WNBA draft.
-Received the 2008 WNBA Rookie of the Year award
-Received the 2008 WNBA MVP award
-Played on the 2008 USA Women's Basketball Gold Medal winning team in Beijing
-Won the AP's Female Athlete of the year award 2008
uh... Wow. Well, first off, to start trying to put this into perspective, here is a quote regarding her MVP and Rookie of the Year awards:
Parker joined the short list of rookies to win the MVP in their first year in the major sports. Wilt Chamberlain and Wes Unseld did it in the NBA, Fred Lynn and Ichiro Suzuki in major league baseball, and Jim Brown in the NFL.
Again, let me emphasize that the list above is all within 2008. 12 months, y'all. There are many, many great athletes who may at best have one of those accolades in a year, a few over a lifetime. Candace Parker accumulated them all since LAST JANUARY.
So I think the word "egregious" is necessary and the term "oversight" is appropriate, when trying to understand why CP's year isn't up there with talk of the Giant's Superbowl win, or Tiger's US Open victory. At the very least!
CW and I were discussing this whole thing earlier and decided that the only other comparable sports accomplishment of the year is Michael Phelps' record breaking gold medal tally in Beijing. I can't understand why other, more influential people wouldn't see it that way, but I can hazard some pretty cynical guesses. Case in point: to write this post, I googled "Candace Parker" and the first results were her official WNBA page, Wikipedia, an article about her eloping with her husband, Sacramento King's bench warmer and former dukie Shelden Williams(not hating on Shelden, don't worry) and then finally a story from The Canadian Press about her AP award. The Canadian Press! What about the United States?!? You know, the country she is from and where she plays? As it is, the Canadian article was undoubtedly the most popular because her brother, Anthony, plays for the Raptors.
Anyhow, this is ridiculous. Candace Parker deserves to be just as big a sports story as Michael Phelps, yet she is pushed way back behind every other little blip on the radar. Texas Tech, for instance: they were outstanding for three months, yes, absolutely. But in the end they got their ass handed to them by Oklahoma, Graham Harrell got to stay home from the Heisman ceremony and they are now playing in the Fort Worth Credit Union Petting Zoo Cowboy Hat Bowl or something. Not nearly as impressive as my girl Candace Parker.
Start showing some love, ESPN. Especially when it's a no-brainer like this one. Totally unacceptable.
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