right now, i am waiting for my hair to dry so that i can leave the house and go down the street to the ol' duane reade. to leave prior to my hair drying would be a health risk. as it is TWENTY FIVE DEGREES here.
ok, really it is supposedly 35, but weather.com says it feels like 25. so why not just say 25? i don't care what it actually is, i care what it feels like. really.
so yes, it's 25 degrees outside. and we live on first avenue, which is like saying we live on the bank of the east river, 'cause we do, so it's probably a good ten degrees colder on our block. or avenue, as i guess you'd say. so it's 15 degrees outside right now. hair is gonna have to be good and dry.
did you notice i have broken the golden rule of english composition; mixing numbers as digits and numbers as words? i'm crazy! an english compositional renegade, if you will.
in other news, i am about to crown myself a gigantic asshole and complain about the hoardes of touristas that currently plague my daily life. i know i know...so stuck up of me to complain about those persons who have come to this great city to gawk at such tourist meccas as the rock center tree and the macy's windows. or to stand in the middle of the great hall of grand central with their head back and drool pouring from the corners of their mouths, agape at the wonder of the grand central kaliediscope light show, complete with christmas music. there, i said it. i'm sorry, but i am late for work, and i am just trying to cross to the escalators and i have to slolom my way through groups of dazed missourians who have absolutely no concept of the fact that they are standing smack dab in the middle of one of the busiest commuter hubs in the world.
god, i'm an asshole. but while i'm at it, let me wonder at this: it never ceases to amaze me how the holiday season brings out the most abhorrent behaviour possible in our fellow human beings. whether it's trampling a grandma to get a dvd player on sale, or selling a playstation three for seven thousand dollars on ebay or, as i experienced last evening, whistling at your waitress in what is supposed to be a civilized establishment as if she is a dog, people just constantly exceed the limits of tolerability at this time of year.
as for the whistling incident, i don't work at applebee's and no, you shouldn't be whilsting at your waitress as if she is a canine there either, but for the love of god. if you are sitting in a restaurant that is charging you 8 dollars for a coors light and 9.50 for a green salad on a plate the size of a compact disc, can we at least PRETEND to have a little class? just a little? whistling? as if you are calling me back to the house after i have taken a shit? i wanted to STRANGLE this man. where do these people come from? and why must they have more money than me?
that is the question.
anyhow, that's all for now. i promise to lay off the tourists on dec 26th. or maybe jan 2. we'll see.
1 comment:
oh god, the best is when you're behind the tourists on the roads of new york city.
oh yes, let's stop in the middle of the freaking road to stare at the pretty lights! that's always a smart idea, i mean, i'm sure that taxi behind you will understand and not give you the finger before threatening to get the russian mafia on you.
lol.
and i think you should have started whistling back at the guy. that would have been funny.
ok, well.....talk to you soon=)
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