they're just not makin' 18 year olds like they used to...

does this man look 18 to you?

hmmm...well he is. or at least that's what he has everybody thinking. this, ladies and gentlemen, is greg oden. freshman center at (the) ohio state university. seven feet tall. born in 1988.

1988? 1988?!? really?!? i remember 1988. I was in junior fucking high. That means that ol' greg here was only TWELVE YEARS OLD in 2000. SIX YEARS AGO HE WAS TWELVE!

ok. i know i'm not helping, but look at him there. does that man(and i stress, MAN) look 18 to you? can you imagine playing high school ball against this guy? he must have been legendary, like the yeti...

his nba draft profile compares him to david robinson. and you know what? i see it. he looks like david robinson RIGHT NOW. and david robinson is 41. if you told me ol' greg here was 41, i'd be fine with that.

you know what? maybe greg oden IS david robinson! maybe the admiral wanted to come back and do it all over again, and has "disguised" himself as an incredibly mature looking, gigantic freshman at (the) ohio state university!

you know, not for nothing, but even david robinson doesn't look as old as greg oden.

i just wanted to bring this to everyones attention, so that they are not blindsided with it as i was. oh, and i want to point out to charles that david robinson wears a size 17 shoe. but i bet he doesn't have any trouble finding 'em. which brings us to this universal truth: if you have big feet, you need to get rich and famous. otherwise, finding the shoes you want is going to be a pain in the ass.

christmas is almost here,which is good, because my christmas spirit is hanging on by a fucking thread. they really beat it out of you in this city, boy... and this is my rejuvinated, iron-clad christmas renaissance spirit i'm talking about here. it's supposed to be inpenetrable.