february is the cruelest month

new week. we are halfway through february, and the meltdown is in full effect, though as per usual it has not taken the form i had anticipated. it never does. i'm determined, however. march is not unreachable, and i must repeat that, over and over in my head, until it gets here.

i was in the dmv with my brother at 8:45 this morning, and we had quite a bit of time to reflect on the dmv scene, while we waited for D414 to be called. conclusions? the more bizarre you appear to the information desk lady, the more likely you are to be fast tracked to a window, and henceforth, the more likely you are to leave the building before others who appear less threatening. i understand this reasoning, it just failed to benefit me in any way. the young man who's hair could only be described as a post-electrocution halo, however, was in and out in ten minutes. in addition, i realized that if i were to take a job at the dmv, i too would derive a great deal of pleasure from stretching the time it takes to ring the bell that signals the next customer to its absolute maximum. in fact, i believe i would probably make a show of not ringing the bell, and engaging in entirely self-serving activities instead, such as looking at myself in the mirror, or text messaging on my cell phone. this kind of behavior has the potential to drive the average dmv patron absolutely bananas. hell, my brother was about to start taking hostages.

can i talk for a minute about the grammys? thanks.

it's been many years since i caught a grammy broadcast, which might account for why it seemed that last evening's 47th annual grammy awards sucked so much harder than i remember them sucking. that they are ridiculously irrelevant to modern music is a given. that aside, the whole thing seemed painfully awkward, no? some participants seemed embarassed(understandably), but others inexplicably seemed as if they had never appeared in front of a large group of people before. it was bizarre, like watching a junior high talent show or something, where no one knows exactly how to conduct themselves. and that performance of "across the universe" was absolutely wretched.

i must say, giving ray charles' producer the 'wrap it up' music in the middle of the acceptance speech he was giving on behalf of a dead man was extremely classy. i'm assuming that someone, perhaps many people, got fired after this broadcast. it was just too ridiculously sloppy and disorganized; it's 2005, for christ's sake. anyone with half a braincell and a reality show concept can produce a television program. ashton kutcher does it. events like the grammy awards shouldn't appear as if they were produced by a high school a.v. class, or the kids from the apprentice. (did anyone see those commercials they made? good lawd.)

anyhoo, i believe my brother summed it up the best with this comment, which he made after the late ray charles won 'album of the year': "i hope ray charles is gathering his zombie powers, and will rise from the dead and lay waste to that whole auditorium." i couldn't have agreed more. unfortunately, the program ended directly, without ray charles visiting from beyond the grave.