things i discovered today, thanks to the internet.

anyone who has google mail knows that one of the many splendors of dealing with the google empire is that they do things like comb your text for keywords and then provide a sidebar full of ad's that are somehow, in their twisted google minds, related to something you have written. this is actually pretty amusing, especially when you get something totally off the wall. this morning, i wrote kels an email which literally said "let's go wednesday, i am off. love you xo lb". short, sweet, to the point. no hidden innuendo. right? wrong. google seems to think that i am trying to win my ex-girlfriend back. how do i know? because they kindly provided me a link to this fruitcake's book.

link to the fruitcake's book

actually, i have to hand it to this dude. he has made a good old fashioned pass at the fine art of snake oil sales, and done so in quite a creative way... make sure you pick this up, you definitely don't want to accidently do any of the four things that piss chicks off... FOUR? where did he come up with four?

i would list my favorite parts of this advertisment, but they are all my favorite. you will just have to take it in yourself. and don't forget to take advantage of the ridiculous savings! this information is worth thousands of dollars! and he is offering it to you, friend, for only 67. jump on this now.

in related news, did you know there is a dude named kenny chesney? just kidding, we all know that, thanks to renee zellweger's dumb ass. but did you know that he has a song called "she thinks my tractor's sexy"? he has definitely read that dude's book about women. he also, for your information, has a song called "being drunk's a lot like loving you", which i believe he means to be a sincere pass at a love song. interesting. you have to hand it to these hicks, they shock even me sometimes.

oh, and back to the google thing...yesterday they gave me a link for "freemilitaryschools.com" for which the tagline read "kids giving you a hard time? teach them a life lesson." and have more time to drink martinis! holla. that's what i'm saying.