first of all, i have been seriously neglecting the blog here, so i figure i should mention that there is, as of yet, no fish. i just haven't made it happen. but i plan on it. so i guess, for now, i will just leave it as when there is a fish, i will post a picture. good enough.
what i have not been neglecting is college basketball, which for those of you in the back of the room, has entered the march madness phase of things. and well, it's madness.
i have been keeping some notes, not only to help me with my picks, even though i am hopelessly lost with all the pac 10 teams and mid majors and am almost certainly gonna screw it up regardless of notes. and i will now tell you some of what i have learned. as one of the tv commentators eloquently put it, the learning lessons.
first of all, i learned that commentators and analysts say some completely meaningless shit some of the time. and other times, they butcher the syntax of the english language so severely that you need a webster's and a legal pad to break it down and figure out what they were trying to say. here's an example: unfortunately i don't have the chaps name, but one of the dudes working the pitt-georgetown game on saturday night recounted a story from one of the seniors on the team about how aaron gray had been ogling his championship ring from a previous year. "he said there isn't a day that doesn't go by when aaron doesn't look at that ring...". so far as i can tell, that sentence cancels itself out completely, and may also tear a hole in the space-time continuum.
also notable: the making-up of words, like "sticktoitiveness" and phrases, like "in the back door like a muddy six-year-old" or more obtusely, the aforementioned "learning lesson".
aside from the commentating hootenanny(kind of like the "american morning playhouse" of yore) there was the actual basketball action, or more importantly, side plots like tyler hansbrough's hannibal lecter facemask, which t-bone was forced to don after duke's gerald henderson broke his nose thursday night. not only did espn keep showing this one shot of him standing there with the thing on bearing a facial expression that conveyed a bizarre cross between insanity and stupidity, but boston college kept knocking it half off his face, smushing his broken nose and sending poor tyler reeling around the court like he had just been on the receiving end of a face full of bees. good times.
then there's gramps, aka greg oden from ohio state, who seriously looks like he's pushing forty. i wrote a post about him a few weeks ago. trey suggested that he had the disease that robin williams had in "jack", which i would say is just as possible as anything else... something has to explain all those wrinkles on his forehead. aside from his basketball-related dominance, i always enjoy watching him trot down the court after making a monstrous shot. most of the time, he registers no expression at all. in fact, for all you can tell, he may just have looked up from the newspaper or something.
Other random observations that have made it into my notebook:
charles says that georgetown is dangerous because they run something called the princeton offense. he explained it, but really that's all i know. oh, and that he likes them all the way, maybe.
there is a jamont gordon from mississippi state, and a jamon gordon from virginia tech, and i have no idea what is up with that.
according to someone on tv, the hokies will "run it right up your backside", which i think is a good thing in this instance, and i like them to go kinda deep(don't worry, not into your backside).
i do not agree with tony kornheiser that louisville will make it past texas a&m and in to the sweet sixteen.
bc's jared dudley has the most mirror-perfected scowl i have ever seen. he must not have a roommate. or if he does, that person is highly amused.
in the bad mascot department(and i know all about bad mascots, having been to two different schools with two horrible mascots: the boston university terriers and the stony brook seawolves) we have the suny albany great danes. also a suny school, like my alma mater...what the hell is wrong with y'all?
that's all for now. i have a bracket to fill out. more, much much more, to come.
No comments:
Post a Comment