dear germs, i don't think it's working out

ok. so between charles and i, we have had three stomach viruses, two eye infections and two head colds since christmas. it's really sweet of these germs to want to keep giving even after the holiday season, but quite frankly I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. and i think i speak for us both when i say that; charles isn't awake to weigh in, as he is asleep on the couch under four blankets and has eaten nothing but two saltines over the last three days.

seriously though. we spent thursday in the mount siani emergency room with my poor baby hooked up to an iv trying to get something into his system for the first time in 12 hours; all the while, my left eye was growing to the size of a golfball and emitting a green-brown goo. delicious! i kept waiting for the er people to realize that i was creating a biohazard and kick me out, but luckily we escaped before anyone caught on.

last night, our two sorry asses holed up in the apartment, which we had turned into a low-budget intensive care unit: there were thermometers and eye drops and tissues and herbal tea, the entire place contaminated by the rash of maladies which have recently befallen us...

i am glad to report that we are both somewhat on the mend today; my eye now just looks like i poured some sort of cleaning agent in there, red as hell but relatively the right size. and less goop. charles' fever broke sometime before this morning and, as i mentioned, he has increased his vitamin water diet to include a couple of saltines. i managed to get him to take some tylenol earlier...things could be looking up, although i am hesitant to celebrate the return of our health. it's been a rough month.

which brings me to this: dear germs, do you think you might move along and infect someone else now? you took up residence with us for the past four weeks or so, and you've really hung strong, but i know a lot of motherfuckers out there who haven't had so much as a sniffle lately...surely that must pose something of a challenge. we would just really appreciate it if we could get a span of days where one or the other of us could get in a full week of work and not have to get carted off in an ambulance. pretty please? thanks.

also, we are missing our long awaited, much anticipated evening at the daily show thanks to our most recent ailments...we waited four months for this! now it's back on the waiting list. thanks a lot, virus.

well, i am off to disinfect the hell out of everything we own...oh, and don't think i haven't considered that this is all the result of tom brady smiting me. just for that i'm gonna go ahead and throw caution to the wind...colts over pats on sunday...go peyton.