how drunk is too drunk?

i'm not kidding when i tell you that the virginia general assembly has moved on from pants and traditional marriage license plates to...drunk hunters. yes. that's the term that the local news employed, by the way, to describe this issue, and the anchorwoman actually said something to the effect of "how drunk is too drunk?" i'm not sure i even need to touch this.

the last two times i commented on the agenda of the virginia general assembly, i raised questions about their use of time; how they seemed to be preempting important state business with ridiculous meanderings on the modern phenomenon of low-riding pants. i take all that back. there apparently is no important state business; or rather, this is the important state business. hunters in virginia need to know how shitfaced they can be when they go out in the woods to blow things away.(they do go out into the woods, right? hello?) and the general assembly is going to put their heads together, hash it out, and come up with an answer to this burning question.

remember a while back when i was talking about getting some nerf and a helmet to protect myself against my southern neighbors? scratch that. i'm upgrading to body armor. i hear they sell it on ebay.

in a semi-related story, dr. hunter s. thompson has invented a new sport. and i quote: "So there it is. Shotgun Golf will soon take America by storm. I see it as the first truly violent leisure sport. Millions will crave it." i'm pretty sure he's on to something. read about it here:

shotgun golf

as for the productivity i engaged in yesterday, i am happy to report that the only thing i didn't do was number 3, which involved going outside and shooting some pictures. it started to rain, so instead i increased number 2(sleep) and filled in the rest by developing a plan via email for a multi-million dollar business and world domination scheme with my sister, who was hung over at work. you're gonna want what we've come up with. i'm sure of it. also, this emailing frenzy provided the forum for my sister to write what may go down in history as one of the most brilliant sentances ever constructed. check it out here.

i am also happy to report that fabolous is the proud owner of a much cleaner fishbowl. this has rendered him not only cleaner, but fitter, happier, more productive...you know the rest. i took a picture for the occasion, and fabolous was hamming it up, so psyched is he about his sparkling digs. however, the camera batteries died, so you're just going to have to take my word for it. perhaps you don't really care, and feel that this paragraph has gone on far too long to sustain your interest. fair enough.