first list ever

there are great songs, there are songs, and then there are really, really bad songs. really bad. after prolonged exposure to a satellite radio channel dealing exclusively with the latter two categories, i have compiled a list of the three worst songs that i have ever heard. there may be worse songs, but i think i've managed to avoid them. and i'd like to keep it that way; these three are quite enough.

1. 'kiss from a rose' by seal. this is playing right now through enormous speakers, on a merry-go-round in hell.
2. 'what's up' by four non-blondes. this is a double whammy, as this band also happens to have one of the worst band names in history. this song does to me what mary hart's voice does to epileptics; sends me into a seizure. seriously. now that linda perry is all up in everyone's biz, writing songs for christina aguliera and gwen stefani and the like, i keep coming across her name in various magazine articles. it makes me twitch. sometimes i worry that she's just using these people, trying to find the perfect vehicle for the super-mecca-version of 'what's up', which she will use to bring about the end of humanity.
3. 'mmm,mmm,mmm,mmm' by the crash test dummies. they share the dual honor of horrific song/horrific band name with the non-blondes. incredibly inane lyrics sung as a dirge by the guy who plays the brother on 'everybody loves raymond'.

unfortunately, i've missed the season for listing the three worst christmas songs i've ever heard, but there's always next year, and amy grant isn't going anywhere.

ps- i dedicate this entry to jim hill, who has heard this list many, many more times than i'm sure he could've possibly cared to. and yet he continues to feign interest, and for that, he is the man. thanks for listening, jim.